A Public Voice For All The Hidden Victims

Thank you for these supportive words. It is not easy doing this work but it means so much to us that the importance is recognised.

They Said to Me is such an important forum with which to do some much needed naming and shaming of the abuse and liberties carried out on a daily basis by maternity services.

As soon as you start to pursue a natural birth, if you do, and particularly if you join groups with others doing likewise, you will hear stories like those told on this page, every day. Sadly, even if you follow all advice you may not escape the poor service, abuse and sometimes assault that frequently occurs, but if you are trying to go against advice and make your own informed choice it will be ramped up.

Yet, it doesn’t seem to be common knowledge that this sort of thing routinely goes on. Even worse, some are just resigned to the cowboy antics. Many women don’t find out until they are pregnant just how coercive and abusive maternity services can be. Often, by the time they do realise, they feel too intimidated to do anything about it or feels too late and they have had unwanted interventions, abuse and a traumatic experience.

Some people don’t really realise that what happened to them was coercion and abuse for years or even at all. Like all abuse it comes with a big dose of brainwashing and that is how it works. Women are often nervous and vulnerable when they are pregnant and professionals too often feed and take advantage of their fears in order to bend them to their will. Once babies are born, mothers are often too traumatised and busy to fight back and complain. They are also frequently told not to complain and to be grateful that they and their babies are alive, as if that is all they should expect from a health service. So many women bury the trauma or just the unpleasant, dehumanising experience of using maternity services.

Anything that blows the lid open on this whole unsavoury business is a good thing and They Said To Me is making an important contribution. I hope more and more comments will be tagged to the service that spawned them so that services can be truly named and shamed. This should be the next #metoo movement and They Said To Me is on the front line calling the battle cry!

You can Donate to support They Said To Me,  Share Your Storyaccess support, leave a review and hire us to speak to groups of birth workers, midwives and student midwives.

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