Left Alone And Burned
I still find it hard to come to terms with how awful my experience of labour was with Averly.
From planning a home birth (lasted 2days) to then having no choice but to go into hospital as my waters had gone and was at risk of myself and baby getting an infection and I could not progress enough myself at home.
During contraction one of the male anaesthetist said to me “here’s a tip, instead of screaming and making those noises use that thing in your hand (referring to the gas & air) I was mortified.
To be left alone in a room all by myself in absolute agony for hours on end, anxiety through the roof, hysterical suffering from panic attacks, spent 4 whole days in tears petrified to then having numerous failed epidurals and being induced at 4am in the morning on no sleep or energy and completely neglected by the hospital staff to finally on day 4 being rushed for a emergency c section 48 hours after my waters had broke.
The midwifes went against all my wishes. I felt like I had no say in the matter.
The whole experience was horrible.
I cried solid for 4 whole days (the days I should of been so happy and excited to be welcoming my daughter into the world) and I hand on heart believe my failure to deliver her naturally was down to the stress and anxiety I was having about being alone because of COVID.
And when Avie finally came into the world at 12.43pm via C section I was over the moon. We both were.
Until we were taken to recovery and after a short few hours Stevie was told to leave and that he could not come back at all.
I was left lying on the bed, naked, covered in my own blood etc, catheter so full it was coming back up inside of me, no personal care, no monitoring on my pain, no company, just left alone – baby in the middle of the room away from me so that I could not reach her and left like that for 8/9 hours until I decided enough was enough and got up to ask for a shower where at 11pm at night I had to shower myself after having major surgery!
I had burns all over my back from where they left the tape on me for days. 6/7 holes in my back from where they had messed up my epidurals even took them 2 hours to do them (I thought they had paralysed me) and still have headaches, numbness on one side off and on and a bad neck, back and shoulders due to this.
No support, no help, no comfort. I had never felt so alone, helpless and afraid. The care I had was awful. I cried for weeks after wards as I just could not understand how they could treat a human like that. A human that has just had a baby.
And regardless of COVID or not they have a duty of care.
After 24 hours of being alone in hospital I made sure myself and Avie were out of there. I just remember feeling very angry for days even weeks afterwards.
It’s hard for anyone who’s just had a baby, let alone a first time mum and then add into the mix a global pandemic. We need the support of our family, loved one, friends. Etc. How can you be allowed to attend a pub with 30+ people but you can’t have your partner there during these priceless moments in life. This is having such a detrimental affect on so many women and partners around the country and something needs to be done about it.
I’m supporting the #ButNotMaternity campaign, which is raising awareness about the devastating effects of facing maternity appointments and labour alone due to Covid restrictions.
Currently, many hospitals across the UK only allow birth partners to be present for the final stage of labour. This means women can be in labour for hours alone, with birth partners missing the birth of their children, or even worse, women receiving heartbreaking news about their pregnancy.
I understand we need to stay safe during the pandemic, but if you can go shopping wearing zero PPE, to the pub with five friends or attend a wedding with up to 30 guests, why can’t you have your partner with you at the birth of your baby?
Women are attending scans, experiencing stillbirths, finding out their babies have died, going through difficult and traumatic labours or operations alone. I heard that on the day the pubs had reopened, a woman went to a scan alone and found out she’d had a miscarriage. She had to call her husband to tell him the baby they had tried for for 18 months was gone after 11 weeks.💔
Research shows that stress is incredibly damaging for an unborn baby’s development, and there is a link between stress in pregnancy and severe postnatal depression. We are creating a future epidemic of poor mental health among mothers by not lifting these restrictions.