Clear Racism

With my first child (who is now 3) the community midwife measured me incorrectly for weeks in my final trimester, I had preclampsia and my blood pressure shot up.

During week 37 they admitted me to the hospital and I had a doctor come in and look at me saying “OH MY GOD! For a woman of your size look at how small your bump is, something is definitely wrong!”.

As an inexperienced first time mother I couldn’t believe it and I blamed myself.

He said we have to cut the baby out, I was terrified, I opted to be induced so they inserted the pessary, that night was the most horrific night of my life.

The midwife on duty was a clear racist, she kept telling me to stop exaggerating the pains and she told my husband to get out as he wasn’t allowed with me through the night, in the same breath she allowed the lady opposite to have her husband with her and said behind the curtain “just hide behind here no one will see you”.

My husband heard this and became so angered he was ready for her to call security because of the discrimination, I had to calm him down and he eventually left.

I asked for gas and air and they strapped a monitor on me, they realised the baby’s heartbeat was unstable so they rushed me down to the labour ward.

I was told nothing at all during this time in my head I thought maybe I have progressed so they’re taking me down to the labour ward but no, the surgeon told me to put the gown on and I was flustered as to what was happening.

10 minutes before the operation she told me I had no choice but to be cut open otherwise the baby will die, this was not the birth I had imagined I was shocked.

After I had my c section I was left to my own accord the midwives absolutely terrible.

My daughter cried day and night, constantly on the boob. I needed to use the toilet one night and she kept crying, I called help and she told me to go and leave the baby here she won’t die if she cries.

I wanted to breastfeed so badly, one night another midwife came in and said to me why do you keep yourself awake all night just go to sleep when she could clearly see me breastfeeding.

I rocked her pacing the room on my breast all night, she came in early morning and have me a bottle of SMA she then gave her a few sips and said now sleep. I didn’t sleep nor did my baby, I felt like a failure and was in excruciating pain. I had a hard time bonding with her for a good year and went through major PPD. I will never forget that experience ever.

During my second pregnancy I was a lot more informed and knew I wanted a VBAC. They did extra monitoring throughout the pregnancy and everything seemed to be heading in the right direction until I met my consultant, what a nightmare she was.

The scan showed my baby was transverse so she said to me, well you don’t have much chance of giving birth naturally let’s book a c section for 38 weeks. She forcefully booked me in and I had tears streaming down my face.

I went home and me and my partner searched the web and found spinning babies we did the exercises to turn the baby religiously and the next scan showed he had in fact turned! I went to meet the same consultant and told her EXACTLY what I had done and how she made me feel like it was impossible!

Come 40 weeks and baby wasn’t ready to come out so again they pressured me to get induced, I went into the hospital only to refuse the induction, the midwife came in and told me they must have got it all wrong with me because I have a big baby and need to stop eating cakes otherwise the baby will be too big to come out naturally.

(I didn’t have GD and I didn’t eat cakes) My partner and I were mortified at her comments.

A consultant came in like a knight in shining armour when I had refused to be induced, he told me what a wise choice I had made as an induction increases the chances of a C section and that it was fine to wait another week or two.

I found it so astonishing that in all of this the only person who understood my needs was a MALE, lo and behold 10 days later my “big” baby came naturally!

I have to also mention the GP I saw at the hospital while suffering from excruciating pelvic girdle pain, she told me to be quiet and stop exaggerating, “keep taking paracetamol” and that this level of pain that rendered me bedbound was “normal”.

Most of these people have become robotic with no emotion at all.

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