I was trying to work out which part of my labour affected me more.
When I arrived at the hospital I was looked over and the midwife lead unit said I was 4cm and was to be moved onto delivery.
I went up to delivery to meet the midwife who was meant to be helping.
When I got there she turned off my gas and air as she said I wasn’t in labour and had to suck it up, as she didn’t go into hospital until she was 10cm so I was being a baby.
As she asked me questions for the paper work she asked what pregnancy this was, I replied with “5th we had twins but lost them”, to which she replied with “well they don’t count as they wasn’t even really here”.
This broke me and left me saying I couldn’t do this and they did count.
After this remark she told me to lay on my side and keep my knees together, but was suffering with spd, and this was even more painful than the labour.
After an hour of being up on the delivery ward, got up to the toilet and told her I needed to push, she told me to “stop being stupid, you’re not even in full labour yet” and gave me 2 paracetamol.
She agreed to check how far I’d dilated to which she replied “5cm, told you, ages yet” but while I had a contraction she decided to stretch my cervix without permission.
After doing this she said “Well I’m off for my break now, you’ll be hours yet”.
Minutes later, I looked at my husband and told him the baby was coming and to get help, the midwife came back with sandwich in hand and said “I’ve told you you’re not ready” to which I shouted “He’s here”.
My baby was nearly here and all she kept saying is “Stop pushing, you’re hurting your baby, hold it in” I had no control and my son was born in one go onto the bed, the midwife hadn’t even time to put gloves on or catch my baby as he entered the world.
This has put me off hospital birth all together, but also gives me the power to believe I can do this on my own and my body will know what’s best for us.
Me and my husband had to go through a birthing counsellor to process what happened but we got there, just in time to welcome our baby in November 2020 x