I said no epidurals

I had an induction due to meconium in the waters, and the contractions were painful. I had stated explicitly I was not having an epidural for personal reasons.

My own mother suffered nerve damage thanks to sloppy needle work from an epidural when I was born. I told them under no circumstances EXCEPT an emergency caesarean was I to have anything inserted into my spine.

My husband recounted to me he heard the midwives discussing changeover, and this midwife decided to lie to the changeover and say I had agreed to an epidural. Thank goodness my husband was advocating for me and set them straight.

This midwife then got right in my face and said “you aren’t coping with the pain” and tried to get me to take pethidine which I refused. This same midwife was very rough with me and forced my legs apart for a VE at one point.

The whole birth in general was very much a me vs them after that, and I was forced onto my back in stirrups. My birth ended with several people crowding round my vagina while screaming at me to push, and giving an episiotomy with just a local. I still felt it.

One consultant tried to force a catheter in while my baby was crowning. The whole experience left me feeling shell shocked and numb. I felt raped. All this because of some green waters which was not very much meconium at all, it was probably because she was born at 40+4.

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