That Still Hurts

I just wanted to share the experience of my labour. I wasn’t checked when I asked for pethidine and the midwife gave it to me told me not to push even though that’s what my body clearly wanted to do.

I didn’t know that 3 pushes later my baby would be here. I missed the first few hours of his life because she said I had hours to go and I didn’t think I could make it. I really didn’t.

As I’m drifting in and out almost dropping the baby the midwife in front of my sister husband and trainee midwife said to my husband. “I’m stitching this bit up but do you know what it’s supposed to look like?” I was mortified and felt so embarrassed like my body was open to discussion.

The thought that they would change it without me being aware or awake enough to describe it. That still hurts. Thank god my husband said that it was my decision.

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