They Did Not Listen

They said to me my contractions were weak and irregular and I would not be having baby anytime soon, as I argued for them to reduce the syntocin drip that I instinctively knew was too high a dose as my contractions started overlapping (something that is even more important to avoid for a vbac which I was).

I transitioned about 5 minutes after, was fully dilated and had baby about 10 minutes after that, in total fear and vulnerability not being able to process what was going on or trust anyone.

The birth was horrific as I pleaded with the midwife to remove her hand from my vagina (I had in my birth notes I wanted hands off delivery). Baby shot out fast in one go leaving a lot of damage (2 third degree tears and several more minor ones).

I lost 2.5l blood.

And I am certain it was because my uterus was overstimulated because I was on too high a dose of drip.

The midwife said it was my fault for having a birth plan, she lied in my notes about persuading me to have the injection for placenta to come (despite me agreeing to this several times having had to go on syntocin drip).

I had to go to theatre to have stitches repaired interrupting skin to skin and first feed, I asked them to bring baby to me which they agreed to then never brought him.

They left my husband with baby with pool of blood in hospital room, insisted my baby needed a nappy on when I returned so he didn’t poo and wee everywhere (this was before I’d been able to resume skin to skin).

I asked for the bed to be propped up so I could feed my baby. I had cannulas in both arms and blood pressure monitor on one.. the midwife refused to raise the bed nor would she assist me to try get my baby to latch when I could barely move my arms.

I had to force my husband to work it out and raise the bed when she was out of sight (I had to have her there for another 8 hours to observe me. I requested the bright lights be turned off which she refused. All in all it was horrific.

From stepping foot into hospital I spent most of the labour arguing. I have PTSD from the experience. There’s so much more I could write about the experience because it was truly horrific.

Thank you for highlighting all these experiences on your page because the arrogance and authority complex so many practitioners have is incredibly worrying. I would like a third but really hope I can afford an independent midwife, because even going to hospital for appointments gives me anxiety attacks.

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