What They Didn’t Say

My first pregnancy: I was deemed “low risk” throughout and planned a homebirth. However after a low fundal height measurement I was sent for a scan at 38 weeks, and was repeated at 40 weeks. The centile dropped from 15th to 10th between the two so I was booked to see the consultant. He glanced over my scan, wrote some bits on his computer and then printed me off an appointment for my induction; there was no discussion, no consent, no reasoning other than “your baby isn’t growing so you need to be induced”.

I didn’t know I could say no, no one even discussed what this meant with me. I cried to my midwife when I got home, but even when I asked if I could still homebirth she just said I wasn’t allowed.

I was heartbroken and 3 years later I still feel completely betrayed by them. My daughter was a quick 6-hour start to finish induction that ended in forceps; during which I felt uncared for and not listened to; I had an episiotomy that me and my partner don’t remember consenting to and I am very certain I was not given pain relief prior to it as it was the most painful thing I have ever experienced.

I’m pregnant again now and know my rights much more and so will not be pushed into any decision without appropriate discussion. It’s sad that it takes a pregnancy before women begin to think about what their rights might be.

You can Donate to support They Said To Me, you can Share Your Storyand access support and hire us to speak to groups of birth workers, midwives and student midwives.

Please follow and like us: